A Bad Mix

Beer at Six Flags...where do I begin?

First off, it's a stupid idea. I have worked at Six Flags. I put in 8 years there. I have seen the way relatively smart people behave when they step foot in the park. Hell, the stupidity begins WELL before they actually get in the park. As a security guard, I can't tell you how many times we had to help people get their keys they had locked in their car. And some of those times the car was still RUNNING. Yes, the keys were still in the ignition, the car was still on. Hey, at least they remembered to put it in park. So, we'd dust off the old slim jim, (not much dust because it was only a few hours between uses) and jimmy the locks and we'd be their hero for about 2 minutes. How many girls do you know that can break into a car? Well, now you know one! Then there are the fights to break up in the parking lot. And all that before they cross the front gate and remember, most of these idiots are SOBER! I could go on and on about the stuff I dealt with as a security guard, but even MORE interesting are the people I dealt with while I worked in Rides. Oh, where do I begin??

Forget about the people that puke on rides because they are wusses. And I want to say thank you for leaving me those little (big) presents. (Duh, don't ride the upside down, twisty, backwards ride if you have a weak stomach.) I'm talking about the boneheads that think it's fun to act stupid while the ride is in motion. While they are SOBER. They stand up, they hang out the side, they jump off moving parts of the ride... example, the Bobsled. Years ago, a woman got scared and JUMPED off the Bobsled ride because her "bob" had stopped at a brake point. Because it was SUPPOSED to stop at a brake point. Hence the word "brake". And she was SOBER. The drop off the side of that ride was probably 15 or 20 feet and yep, she broke a leg. Or two. Smart woman.

Before that, I spent time in Food Service. It was during my first few months on the job and I'll never forget working the cash register early one morning in the Food Court, watching the people streaming in, making a mad dash for the best ride at the time, which might have been Flashback, but I can't remember for sure. Anyway, it's around 10:05 am at that point, cause the park opened at 10am. And in walks this man. He saunters up to the cash register and asks for a beer. At 10am. At a family park. And I say, "I'm sorry sir, (called him sir whether he deserved it or not) we don't sell alcohol in the park." And he says, "What? Well, I don't know how I'm gonna make it then." Now, you tell me, is this who should be buying beer out at Six Flags? It is 10 o'clock in the morning and the very first thing he does, in a park he paid handsomely to get into, is go for the beer? Wow. Nice.

Let's also not forget that this is not one of those Six Flags parks up north or out east where people can actually hold their liquor and it doesn't reach 100 degrees on a normal summer day. Put those two things together- too much beer and unbelievable heat- and you've got a bad mix. Duh.

In the dust of my rabbi

Most of us know of the Beatitudes. We learned them in Sunday School, but didn't really get it. "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth", whatever that meant to a child. And then we grow up and I can honestly say that I haven't had that many adult conversations about the Beatitudes. I know, shocking, huh? Until yesterday, when my pastor referred to them in his sermon and used "The Message" version, which makes them so relevant. Kind of a V8 moment for me. Duh. So I thought, for those of you who are interested and don't have "The Message" lying around the house, that I would post them. I figured Jesus took the time to teach them to the Disciples, so we should probably figure out how they apply to us.


"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

You're blessed when you're content with just who you are- no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.

You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being "care-full", you find yourselves cared for.

You're blessed when you get your inside world- your mind and heart- put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.

You're blessed when your committment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.

Not only that, count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens- give a cheer, even!- for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble."


May you be covered in the dust of your rabbi.

Lucky Dog or Slum Dog?

We went to see "Slumdog Millionaire" last weekend and I wasn't sure what to expect. I like movies that entertain, but have some redeeming value and that when I walk out, I'm maybe a smarter person. So, "Bride Wars" and the like just don't do it for me. But this movie was incredible. It was stunning. It was heart-wrenching. It was hard to watch, but so worth it. And I realized near the end of the movie, not one person in that theater had moved, or coughed, or, anything. We were all so enveloped by this movie we forgot where we were for a few hours. As we drove away, all I could think was, "How did I get so lucky to be born in America?" I would love to believe my place of birth was written before I came to be, but then why would someone else be doomed to hell on earth as a child? So, I might tend to lean towards the luck of the draw. I know as Americans, we're biased, and think that America is the greatest country in the world. But I think, from everything I've seen, that it probably is. And we are lucky dogs.