Snow again! March 20-21, 2010

6 weeks out

So I just passed the six week mark since my surgery. On Tuesday, the
doctor cleared me to resume normal activities. He even said I could
play soccer again, which I've been planning on, but now realize I'm
really nervous about actually doing it. Lifting weights is going to
have to wait a bit longer. He said I could start small and slowly work
back up to where I was. He still doesn't want me lifting my 2 yr old,
who's about 35 pounds. I think he meant like never lifting her again?!
Anyway, all is good!

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Marking time?

As he departed office in 1989, President Reagan mused, "My friends, we
did it. We weren't just marking time. We made a difference."

Ever feel like you're "just marking time"? I do. Just about everyday
of my life. Oh, everyone says that raising my kids is the most
important thing I could ever do, but it sure doesn't feel like it.
Loads of laundry, mounds of dirty dishes, countless diaper changes,
and toilet scrubbing do not add up to making a difference. Or do they?
It's a strange place to be. I wouldn't have ever chosen to do anything
else besides be home with my kids, which is what I strongly believe
every mom capable should be doing. But at the same time, it's mind-
numbing. Shouldn't I be out DOING something? Making the world a better
place requires leaving your house, right? Building homes for the
homeless, feeding the poor, clothing the naked. Helping those that
can't help themselves? But essentially, isn't that what I'm already
doing?? My heart says yes, but my mind needs more to feel a sense of
worth. I suppose I'm doing what I can where I'm at. I volunteer in my
community, coaching two soccer teams worth of boys, sitting on the
soccer board to see that everything runs like it should. I support my
church so they can send out those that can do more. But I also tend to
question the motive of those that pack their scheduled so tight, they
have no down time with their family or for themselves. That always
seems to me that they are avoiding something. Maybe the feeling of
inconsequence?

So, after all this is said, I don't know where I stand. Am I making a
difference or just marking time. I'm still not sure. But at least I'm
looking, right?

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Day 27

Walked to school to get the kids for the first time since my surgery. Felt pretty good. I'm slowly trying to work up to playing soccer again and I need to start small. Several walks to school and then I'll try the treadmill. Luckily, all this weather is causing games to be canceled and is buying me more recovery time.

SNOW!

Last Thursday, Feb.11, 2010, we had the biggest snowfall in history on a calendar day here in Dallas. Over 8 inches and the airport recorded 12.5" in a 24 hour period! It was nuts! It started snowing around 3 or 4am on Thursday morning and didn't stop til about 3am on Friday morning. As much as I hate cold weather, I have to admit it was beautiful!

Day 25

I'm standing up completely straight!! Yipee!

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Day 23

My recovery is slow, but progressing. Just when I think I'm not really
getting better anymore, I look back to the week before. A week ago
this past Wednesday, I tried to make dinner for the first time since
my surgery. It was very difficult. I had to sit down every 5 minutes
or so, because my back hurt pretty bad and I would just get too tired
to stand any longer. Then this Wednesday, I was able to make dinner
with no problems. Today (Friday), I was able to do several loads of
laundry, dishes, mop and pick up around the house. So, I guess that's
quite a bit of progress, even if I'm still not standing completely
upright yet. I actually might have overdone it a little today. My
right side is aching and my neck is hurting, probably from the
terrible posture. Shoulders slumped over and my neck sticking out. I
probably look a bit like a turtle. Or a 90 year old lady. But at least
my stomach looks 20!!!

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Day 13

Back to the doctor again today. He said everything looks really great
and he was very pleased with the outcome! Yea!! He cleared me to
drive. And sleep in any position I want! That's the best part yet. I
went from sleeping sitting up for a week ( I dare anyone to try it.
It's not fun.), to sleeping on my back with a pillow under my knees,
which actually hurt my old, worn-out knees.
So, all looks good and now I wait for swelling to go down and bruising
to go away. And I'll keep working on standing up straighter. This may
take a while.
Sweet dreams!

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Day 11

I CAN'T TAKE THIS MUCH LONGER!! 11 days of sitting! Sure, I get up
every once in a while and piddle around the house, but I can't pick up
anything- a gallon of milk is pushing it- and can't even go upstairs.
Well, I might be able to make it up the stairs now, but to be honest
with you, I don't necessarily want to. (I'm only imagining what it
must look like up there, having had no "maid" service for the past 11
days.)
So here's what my Sunday looked like:

•Wake up at 9am and see the hubby and kids off to church without me
•read a book about vampires (for real?) for an hour while I should
have been in church
•walked around to avoid blood clots (scary!)
•played Bejewled Blitz on my iPhone
•played Words with Friends (scrabble) on my iPhone
•sat and looked at the wall til family got home with lunch
•watched parts of "This Is It" with the kids
•walked around to avoid the dreaded blood clots again
•watched ALL of "You've Got Mail" while Kansas napped
•ate dinner
•watched the Grammys all the while thinking "Why am I watching the
Grammys?"

Did I mention my behind is really sore from all this sitting?

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Day 10

Walking almost totally upright today! Yeah!! I was getting so
frustrated the past few days. I thought either I'm a total wuss and
was failing to push myself enough to walk upright or was worrying that
maybe they did too tight a job and I might never walk normal again!!
So I called my doc for the nth time in 10 days and asked what the deal
was with me. The nurse told me that I was doing fine and that I had
had a LOT more work done on me than with a normal tummy tuck. She said
that they put in mesh MAYBE 2 or 3 times a YEAR! And I have over THREE
HUNDRED stitches! Holy crap! So, my progress will be slower than a
normal abdominoplasty. After hearing all that, I'm totally ok with
where I am 10 days out of surgery.

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Day 8

Visited the doc again today. Got my drain taken out, so I am
officially unplugged! Didn't hurt, but was an interesting sensation
having a 6 inch plastic tube pulled out from under your skin. I now
have to wear a compression binder, looks like a girdle, for support
and to help with healing. Worst part is that my back hurts pretty bad.
The first week I walked at a 90 degree angle, now I'm up to a little
more than 45 degrees, which is even harder on the lower back. Stomach
feels so tight that it seems impossible that I'll ever walk completely
upright
again. Incision looks good, but I've got a pretty good bruise on my
right side.

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Day 6

Back to the doctor this morning. He checked my incision and the drain
output. I'm still having a little more drainge than they'd like to see
in order to take it out, but I'm close. Hopefully in two more days it
can come out. He also had me stand up alot straighter, but my back
would only let me go so far. The skin was stretching fine, though.
It's actually harder to walk at an almost straight position than it
was just being bent at a 90 degree angle. The back is way more
uncomfortable than my stomach! Everything looks good, so I'm on my way!

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Day 5

Day 5 since the surgery. It's getting better every day. I'm not in
much pain at all. The worst is the stomach muscles cramping. But
that's what the muscle relaxers are for. I've finally found a
comfortable sleeping position, which is almost impossible when you
have stay flexed at a 90 degree angle. I go back to the doctor
tomorrow. Hopefully the drain will come out and I'll be able to stand
up a little bit more. Thank God for all the help I have from my family
and friends. I would not have done this without knowing I had their
support!

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It is a very bad thing to sleep through your pain meds schedule. Very
bad.

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Elective surgery

So after having 3 kids and carrying them really high and straight out
from my body- I swear those babies were parallel to the ground in
utero- I had a messed up abdomen. Lots of stretch marks and loose
skin. What I didn't know was that I also had 2 pretty severe hernias.
One was an umbilical hernia, which is where the bellybutton protruded
through the muscle wall. The other was a Ventral hernia, where the
muscles seperate during pregnancy to allow room for the baby. For
most, these muscles come back together. Mine didn't and I had about a
3 inch vertical seperation of the ab muscles from my belly button area
all the way up to just below the sternum.
So originally I went to the plastic surgeon to see if I could just get
the extra skin removed. I'm in pretty good shape and it just wasn't
fair that I looked 3 months pregnant when the rest of me was thin.
That's when I was told I had these hernias that needed to be fixed.
The doctor told me the bulge I had was actually my organs- stomach and
intestines- falling through the gap between my ab muscles! After
examining me he told me if anyone ever needed a tummy tuck, it was me.
Insurance even covered the hernia repair, mesh, pain pump and
overnight stay in the hospital.
So after months of consideration, I decided to do it. I didn't take
this decision lightly. I considered all the risks and benefits and
prayed for direction. I'm usually scared of anything to do with my
body, like major surgery! But I felt a peace about it and realized it
was necessary.
So 3 days ago, I went into surgery. I was scared of the general
anesthesia part. Going to sleep was fine, but when I woke up it was
awful. The sugery took about 2 and a half hours. When I started coming
to, I saw it was about 4:15 and I didn't get out of that fog til about
7pm. It was really bad. Groggy, nausea and disoriented.
They let me go home the next morning. That was Thursday. That day was
bad and I realized by Friday morning it was all the pain meds that
were keeping me in a nauseous fog. I got to take the pain pump out,
which was delivering continuous narcotics. And got off the Darvocet.
So much better. More later...
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